Speed Dating
Speed dating is a formalized
matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage
people to meet a large number of new people. Its origins are credited to
Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah, originally as a way to help Jewish
singles meet and marry. "Speed dating" is often used as a generic term
for similar events.
The first speed-dating event
took place at Pete’s Café in Beverly Hills in late 1998. Afterward,
several commercial services began offering dating events across the
United States. By 2000, speed dating had really appealed to the masses,
probably encouraged by its portrayal in shows such as Sex and the City
as something that glamorous people did. Supporters argue that speed
dating saves time, as most people quickly decide if they are
romantically compatible or not.
In this form of dating men and
women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short "dates",
usually lasting from 3 to 8 minutes depending on the organization
running the event. At the end of each interval, the organizer rings a
bell or clinks a glass to signal the participants to move on to the next
date. At the end of the event participants submit to the organizers a
list of who they would like to provide their contact information to. If
there is a match, contact information is forwarded to both parties.
Contact information cannot be traded during the initial meeting, in
order to reduce pressure to accept or reject a suitor to his or her
face.
These events require advance
registration, often an online prepayment by credit or debit card.
However, they may allow a few walk-ins when needed to balance the gender
ratio. Some services make use of waitlists when signing up to strive for
exactly the same number of men and women, while others have a more
"party" atmosphere and only aim for an approximately matching number.
There are many speed dating
events now in the United Kingdom, Canada, and the United States. Many of
these generally specify an age range for ladies and gentlemen; sometimes
a slightly older range is specified for men. On the other hand, many
organizers offer niche events such as nights for graduates only, gays
and lesbians, older men with younger women and vice versa, book lovers,
ethnic events, and religious affiliation such as Christian speed dating.
Speed dating has some obvious
advantages over most other venues for meeting people, such as bars,
discotheques, etc. in that everybody is intended there to meet someone,
they are grouped into compatible age ranges, it is time-efficient, and
the structured interaction eliminates the need to introduce oneself.
Unlike many bars, a speed dating event will be quiet enough for people
to talk comfortably.
Participants can come alone
without feeling out of place; alternatively it is something that women
who like to go out in groups can do together.
Because the matching itself
happens after the event, people do not feel pressured to select or
reject each other in person. On the other hand, feedback and
gratification are delayed as participants must wait a day or two for
their results to come in.
The time limit ensures that a
participant will not be stuck for a long time with a match that he or
she is uncomfortable with, and prevents participants from monopolizing
one another's time. On the other hand, a couple that decides they are
incompatible early on will have to sit together for the duration of the
round.
Most speed dating events match
people at random, and participants will meet different "types" that they
might not normally talk to in a club. On the other hand, the random
matching precludes the various cues, such as eye contact, that people
use in bars to reselect each other before chatting them up. |
